Reservist

2 weeks of reservist passed in a flash. 1 more week to go before heading back to work.

To be honest, I hate reservist. I find that its a fucking waste of my time, esp when I am in a sales role. In sales, you need to find the momentum, to keep building the relationship with your clients, and just when you feel that you are doing so, you are on track, bamm! you're off for 3 weeks of reservist doing some mindless fuck shit that is going to cost me much more than whatever makeup pay you can give me. I dun care about some $9000 that I will get for serving 10 years of reservist. Its not even in cash, while I would gladly hand over $9000 or even $18,000 in CASH to the government to stop bothering me and leave me alone! I have already given up 2.5 years of my youth, watching me fall behind my female and other foreigners classmates. Its still not enough and you are fully intent to suck another 10 years out of me. WTF?!

I was IT trained back in the days, and given the speed IT moves, after my NS, all I have is a diploma cert that is nothing more than a irrelevant piece of paper and zero working experience, which of cos puts me at a major disadvantage. So what if I had 'sacrificed' my youth to the nation? What do I get in return? Does any employer care? So what if I had gotten a grading of 'Outstanding' in my NS certificate of conduct? Do you have any 'real life' working experience? They used to say that army makes you a man, well, I can't refute that in all honesty. I have never ever felt like a failure anytime in my life until after army when I tried to find work. Every employer puts me down until I almost believed I am a failure. I'll never forget an interviewer telling me that they can get a graduate with experience from overseas for lesser than what I would cost them, so why should they hire me? Sigh... those days were past. My angst are gone. More or less. Somehow I ended up in a different industry, something that I don't really have a passion about, something that I never considered myself doing, but thankfully, I'm still doing decently. I do often wondered though, how things might have been if I had been given the chance to pursue my passion....

Still, life goes on irregardless, so I do try to find positives in it. I try to take reservist as my annual 'vacation' off from work to recharge and restrategise. I get to meet old friends and new people. I get to get my mind off work for a while. I get interesting views, ideas and perspective from different people, people that I may only meet once a year, or maybe even once in my lifetime. People from different age groups from those very young (just ORD) compared to those that are older (gng to ROD). I don't really have a chance to do so in my social circle, most of my peers are around my age give and take a few years, so its kinda refreshing.

I do miss being young though. Reservist makes me feel, or rather, realised that I'm getting old. Where our topics back then was girls and partying, now its about housing, marriage and kids. The place though makes me feel as if I've stepped into a time wrap. Back to the time where there are no camera phones, no 3G/internet. Newspaper are shared around, amusements can be found in the simplest of things. Back then we are gathered in the 'yellow box' (smoking area) dreaming of our future, 8 years later, we are still standing in the same 'yellow box', but no more dreams. Everyone of us knows how harsh the reality is already, and we're all doing our best to survive in it.